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Computer Jokes - Signs that you
are "Webbed Out"
Your opening line is, "So what's
your home page address?
Your best friend is someone you've never met.
You see a beautiful sunset and you expect to see "Enhanced for
Netscape 1.1" on the clouds.
You are overcome with disbelief, anger and finally depressed when you
encounter a Web page with no links.
You feel driven to consult the "Cool Page of the Day" on your
wedding day.
You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle,
sending your car careening toward a flimsy guard rail that separates you
from the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death. You frantically
search for the "Back" button.
You visit "The Really Big Button that doesn't do Anything" again
and again and again.
Your dog has his own Web page.
So does your goldfish.
When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the
underlined passages.
You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a
word processor.com
You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just
pulled the plug on a loved one.
You start introducing yourself as "Jon at I-I Net dot com"
Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she
looks like.
All of your friends have an @ in their names.
You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
You laugh at people with 2400 baud modems.
You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
Your spouse makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."
You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of
your computer with a commode.
You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :^)
You turn on your computer, and turn off your spouse.
Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy
another computer, and install a second phone line so the two of you can
chat.
You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call
200 hours per month "unlimited." |
