Beer Jokes - Various Short Beer Jokes

A Mexican, Polack, Black, Italian, a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Nun walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, "What is this? Some kind of Joke?"

WHAT DO MEN AND BEER BOTTLES HAVE IN COMMON?THEY ARE BOTH EMPTY FROM THE NECK UP!!!!!!!1

Two condoms walked by a gay bar and one says to the other you want to go in and get shit faced

Q: what is the definition of an Irish queer?
A: An irishman who likes wemon better than whisky

Q: Do you know why beer goes through your system so fast?
A: Because it does not have to stop to change color.

Q: How can you tell if you're wasted?
A: When there are traces of blood in your alcohol stream

Yesterday scientists in Canada revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsence and couldn't drive.

Ways to tell you've been drinking too much:

1. Don't recognize wife/husband unless seen through bottom of glass
2. That damn pink elephant followed you home again
3. You're as jober as a sudge
4. The shrubbery is drunk from too frequent watering
5. You fall off the floor
6. You hold on to the ground to keep from falling up
 
 

Q: Why did God make beer? A: So the Irish wouldn't take over the world.
 
 

Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A: One less drunk.
 
 

Q: Why is Coors Light like making love in a canoe? A: They're both f***ing close to water.
 
 

A horse walks into a bar, pulls up a stool, and orders a beer. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
 
 

A pony walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What's the matter with you?" I'm just a little horse!

Q: whats the difference between a Indian sqaw and a Indian Princess?
A: about 5 beers
 
 

Q: What do you call 1 white man surrounded by 20 indians?
A: Bartender.
 
 

Have you heard the new pickup line at the gay bars? Can I push you stool up for you.
 
 

Why did god put a womans vagina and asshole so close together?? So you can turn her over and carry her home like a six pack!
 
 

Two guys walk into a bar. You think one of them would have seen it!

Three guys walk into a bar. You'd think the third guy would've ducked!
 
 

A three legged dog walks into a saloon, looks around, and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
 
 

This guy walks into a bar with a large bullfrog perched on his head. "Where the hell did you get that?" asked the barman. "Well, the bullfrog replied - you won't believe it but it started as this little wart on my ass !"

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